Yesterday
was the pivotal moment. Baby hasn’t
turned, and is still in breech. So my
doctor highly recommended a Caesarean. We
agreed, as it is best for both baby and mum when in this situation. So I am scheduled for surgery on December 19th. It will be with one of my doctor’s
counterparts, as that day is not my doctor’s day to be at the hospital. It is what it is. Originally they were going to do it on the 18th,
but that day Deb has dental appointments, and so, in hopes of not having to
reschedule, they were able to fit me in on the 19th.
This
is bringing things sooner than later and I’m getting nervous about baby
arriving. What if I don’t bond with
baby, or he is colicky, and I run out of patience to deal with a crying baby,
what if I don’t do things right, what if Deb and I don’t agree with how I’m
doing things; you know all the last minute jitters before baby arrives. I hope I’m not alone in these feelings. The up side is I have great support with Deb
and her mum, I just hope I don’t push them away somehow when baby gets here.
You will be FINE. Be patient with yourself. The first few days are especially emotional. (Lovely, but emotional!)
ReplyDeleteThanks. It is going to be a whirl wind of emotions I'm sure.
DeleteI felt the same way when I knew I was going to have my son. For me, the morning my water broke (a week before my due date), I started crying. I felt all the same things you are saying. It's like, At that moment I knew that he was coming within a day or two (I wasn't having contractions yet) and I just started to worry that I wouldn't love him, that I wasn't strong enough to give birth, that I didn't know what I was doing, etc.) And I felt like I wasn't ready because even though you know a due date is just an estimate, you kindof have that date in your mind all the time. So when I knew he would be born a week early I was like "this isn't how it was supposed to happen!" Lol. Everything fell into place and all the things I worried about we're fine. You and Deb will talk about how to deal with every new challenge (sleep, teething, breastfeeding, etc..) and will decide how to deal with things as they come :-) I beat myself up sometimes because I feel like I'm not doing everything the "right" way, but then I remember that people raised kids before there was google, and babycentre, and prenatal classes, and books on everything from potty training to sleep training. And somehow we survived :-)
ReplyDeleteRemember that the first week or so after baby is born can be really emotional. I was quite weepy and very protective of my son. It's good for Deb to know that this could happen due to hormonal shifts so she understands if you're not quite yourself or you seem to be pushing her away.
Enjoy these last few days without baby! I'm so excited for your little family! (I feel like I should be offering to help you or bring you a meal since we live in the same city, lol).
-calgary nurse
Thanks for the encouragement.
DeleteWe should meet up sometime, if you like. As far as meals, we have a slight selection of frozen home mades to help cover after birth, and I love the crock pot, throw in ingredients, ready at dinner. Thanks for the thoughts though.
It's nerve wracking to be sure! Just remember to breathe in the moment. The time will fly and even when it seems like the baby will never stop crying, he will. It's just a blip, no matter how agonizing it is at the time. I'm sending good wishing for an easy c-section and recovery, an ever stronger relationship, and a brilliant new family!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your support.
DeleteYour going to do great! I know how you are feeling I felt that way too! It's a normal feeling I think! :) So close now OMG!! Can't wait to see this little fella!
ReplyDeleteGood luck tomorrow!!! I'm sending you positive thoughts for a smooth delivery and a speedy recovery! Can't wait to see pictures and hear the name :-)
ReplyDeletecalgary nurse