AKA Hot Water Bottle.
In January we started the Ferber method to get Spencer to sleep at naps without being rocked/cuddled to sleep. We should have done it sooner, but I liked to cuddle him to sleep, and I guess I paid the price. When he was about 4 months old he had a short stint where he wanted to fall asleep by himself in the crib. But then we went to Sechelt and that routine got crushed.
Originally, for the Ferber method, we were just going to do naps, and then we still got cuddles at bedtime (he wasn't much of a cuddler otherwise). The first time, Deb started it. It was an impromptu nap on a Friday evening because he was very tired, and the weekend following was when we were going to start. Good idea right? She fought with him for a little over two hours to get him to sleep. Needless to say by that point he was down for the night. That weekend naps went to pot as we were out and about and he kept falling asleep in the car, and like I mentioned bedtime was going to be cuddle time. So our first attempt was foiled.
We were going to start on a weekend, because I wasn't sure I could go through that stress of seeing my baby cry for extended periods without being able to reason with him on why. However the next weekend was booking up with things we needed to get done, and we needed to have this in place before I went back to work so Cherry didn't have to go through the process solo. The reason we wanted it in place, was for when Deb was home with new baby and couldn't necessarily commit to 30-50 minutes to put him to sleep without interruption.
Because the following weekend was filling up, I was getting courage to start mid week. By Wednesday I had the stomach to start. My first day was not too bad. The time ended up being a little shorter than Deb's attempt the previous Friday. So time getting shorter and following the Ferber theory. That night we did typical routine bedtime which included rocking to sleep.
Then, the next day happened. This wasn't good. I was leaving naps until he was visibly tired, to make sure the timeframe wasn't too long. We were going in every 4-6 minutes to soothe him and lay him back down, and cover him up etc. For comfort reasons I had taken off his jeans and he was just in a long sleeve onsie, which was not out of the ordinary. That day was exhausting for me never mind him. It took a little over four hours for him to fall asleep. He is stubborn. In which time, he did get some water, and some milk, from a straw while standing in his crib because this had passed through his lunch (even I was getting hungry) and I didn't want to have him get dehydrated crying so much, (plus it is hard to sleep when hungry) most of which he refused. After about and hour and a half I put some sweatpants on his legs because he was getting cold from standing in his crib crying, not covered, as I laid him down I tried to warm him up, but couldn't hold him long or that would defeat the purpose. I even had to do a quick change of diaper half way through, because he had pooped and leaving him in that wasn't fair. He was crying to the point his voice got hoarse. Near the end he was falling asleep standing up, and then waking again to cry, he was being that stubborn. After a few rounds of that he only had the energy to get to sitting position, and then fell asleep sitting up fading in and out of crying. At about hour three I had to call Deb for support at work. She was adamant that we had to persevere otherwise all would be for naught, so I kept going, maintaining composure as I went in, so he didn't see me upset.
Once he fell asleep, eventually, I also needed to just lay down and recover. I called Cherry to respond to a call I had missed and started bawling. She came over and brought me lunch, and talked me through this. This is where the Hot Bot idea came up. I'm sure one of the reasons Spencer wasn't falling asleep was because he was cold. I know when I am cold, which is most of the time, I can't sleep until I warm up. She suggested putting a hot water bottle in with him to warm him up and keep him warm until he feel asleep. I thought that was a great idea. Wish I would have been able to do that sooner. I can sympathize with him though, before Deb, I needed electric blankets to fall asleep in the winter. My internal furnace seems to need an outside source to get going, and now Deb acts as a great heat source to get warm. Once I am warm, I can keep warm, but I can't get myself warm. Before now, Spencer had us cuddling him, acting as a heat source to get a nice cuddly warm to fall asleep, then we took that away.
So night time came, Deb and I had discussed that we needed to follow Ferber for night time as well after that afternoon's experience, as he doesn't know the difference between naps and bedtime routine, and Deb said she would handle bedtime. I had had enough. Well, with the hot bot, and perseverance from the afternoon, it only took 18 minutes for him to fall asleep. It was a bitter sweet victory. Deb got the easy route, but at least it did work.
So now he needs his hot bot at a fairly warm temperature, otherwise he complains, to fall asleep. Sometimes he needs it on his feet, sometimes on his torso, sometimes used as a pillow, but it works quite well. Occasionally we need to go in after about 5 minutes to lay him down again etc (his stubbornness pops out again), but for the most part we get a grumble and a cry then he either lays there till he falls asleep, or falls asleep fairly quickly.
Our little man is cold like me. Poor little guy. On the upside, now when he is awake, he is a bit more of a cuddler, which is nice.
No comments:
Post a Comment