#155 Losing my Groove (11/26/12)

This past weigh in was bad.  It really shouldn’t have.  I had finally gotten into working out in the evenings, walking on the treadmill for 30-45 minutes, drinking more water and what not, keeping tabs on what I ate again.  Then, the scales give me a horrible number of gaining two pounds.  That was not expected, nor appreciated. 

The additional down side, I made it worse, by having a gluttonous weekend.  We had poutine fries for dinner, followed by corn fritters.  We had cookies and milk and baileys for desert.  Sunday we ate till we were stuffed on a good dinner of chicken, pumpkin/apple soup, homemade butter pan buns, stuffing, homemade spinach dip and then a slice of homemade apple pie for desert. 

These filling meals were only the beginning.  Cookies, creamfilled cookies.  Not just Girl Guide cookies at 80 calories each, the generic ones, that I’m sure are about 100 calories each.  Falling in love with them again, dipping them into my coffee.  This was an old time habit that I had, every day, I would have one or two or three or so cookies dipped with my morning and/or afternoon coffee.  Sometime they would be biscuits, or digestive type cookies, but the cream filled ones were the best.  This habit had been kicked for a long time, I think the last time I did that on a regular basics, I was still living with my husband at the time.  I do believe this was one of the large reasons I gained 100 pounds while married to my husband, over about 8 years. 

At this point, I realize I have fallen off the path of weight loss a while ago, and I was trying to get things back together.  This weekend was a complete reversal of everything I have been trying to accomplish since starting this revolutionary change to my lifestyle.  The problem right now, I don’t have the motivation to get back on track.  The two pound gain was the last kick that killed my motivation.  Yes, I may walk in the evenings, but I feel I would be doing so, so I can eat more food, than lose weight. 

My wife and I are looking into buying a recumbent bike in order to both be able to do cardio at the same time; one biking and one on the treadmill, and watch TV while doing.  Will I be able to get my groove back once we do get the bike?  I don’t know, thus should we buy it at all? 

Deb has long since stopped logging on MFP and I don’t think she will start again.  I have definitely been lacking in this lately too.  She hasn’t been working out with me because she gets a LOT more steps during the day at work.  With getting the recumbent, which will be better on her bad knees, she will exercise with me, even for a bit.  I’m hoping the buddy system will get my groove back.  

My craving for sugar and sweets, and greasy foods seems to be back, unto my own undoing.  This is the time to start the trials, all over again, after this long slow relapse that seemed to start on the cruise.  That is a three month detour of trying to lose weight and losing focus on the goals.  It is so easy to give in to temptation, when the rewards seem to be so much work. 

Let’s see if I can find my groove.  

#154 Polypectomy (11/19/12)

On Thursday I had the surgery to remove the polyp.  Barring almost getting sent for a mammogram, (Patient mix-up) everything went well.  While getting checked in, the nurse informed me that I needed to take a pregnancy test.  They failed to let me know beforehand, I had just peed, so I tried to say I didn’t need one.  I said “there was no way I was pregnant because I hadn’t had sex with a man in over 5 years.”  She then said “I’m Sorry.” As if to say I hadn’t been in a relationship for that long.  I then went on to explain that the person next to me was my WIFE, and this surgery was part of the journey in order to get pregnant.  She then went to her higher up person to ask, the answer was I still had to pee in a cup.  I told them they would have to wait until I had to pee again.  It wasn’t a huge surprise, my first BFN. At least it wasn’t the full TWW before that test. 

There were many stages to the day; mostly from one nursing station to the next.  Once I got escorted to the surgery ward we got to meet the anesthesiologist, the intern and talk with my surgeon.  I walked right into the operating theatre suite.  Once I was situated on the table, the surgeon went over what he was going to do to me; which was a good thing seeing the mammogram mix up almost happened, this gave me the extra piece of mind that he was doing the right surgery.  Shortly after that, I was out via IV sedation.  I do remember waking up during surgery and saying, “That is a bit painful”.  They must have given more sedation, as that was all I remember. 

Post surgery, the hand written note from my doctor was “The polyp was removed.  J”.  While in the one hour wait post waking up the nurse was talking about pain management.  She was saying I could take, to Advil, then in two hours I could take two Tylenol, then after the next two hours I could take Advil again, and repeat that rotation.  That was in fair shock, as I didn’t think there would be that much pain that required that much management.  All in all I took one Advil when I got home to help with the cramps, and that was it.  There was some discomfort, but I didn’t want to over medicate so I could monitor if things were getting better or worse.  The cramps followed for a couple days afterwards, minimally.  But at least the oven is clean to put a bun in it to start baking. 

I need to go for a follow up appointment in four weeks.  Then we will begin the wait for my first cycle that we will be able to inseminate, which looks like the end of January due to the clinic closure for Christmas. 

My wife pampered me all day and night.  It was a great “Sherpa” training day.  I came across that term reading the linked blog.  I liked it and so did Deb, so we have agreed to use that term Sherpa to the Non Bio Mom when one of us is pregnant.  I’m lucky to have such a wonderful wife. 

This is a picture of me being wheeled out to the car by my Sherpa. 

#153 Update in General (11/08/12)

Well, I was right, I didn’t get in and out of IM appointment as quickly as last time.  I got in to see the nurse right away, but then was waiting for the doctor for two hours.  Apparently the doctor I was supposed to see got snowed in, so he was filling in.  He said I was a low risk patient for surgery next week.  That is good news, nothing I didn’t know though.  As a precaution he might order a nebulizer before surgery to make sure my asthma is calm.  Not a bad idea, so that at least made it a little worthwhile for an appointment. 

While I had someone, I asked him about weight loss and nutrition.  He in general said to go to a nutritionist, as he didn’t want to give me bad advice.  So I did say what we were doing for Carb/Protien/Fat proportions, and asked where squashes fell in the vegetable category ie potatoes > broccoli.  It is somewhere in the middle, which is what I had figured.  Overall, our diet plan is pretty good, from what he was saying.  The problem is sticking to the plan. 

As far as our “diet” is going, the past few months have been a valley of denial.  Not going completely off the rail, but we’re not really making progress either.  My wife stopped logging onto MFP a while ago now.  Without her doing it along side, I’ve been lazy with my logging, and not doing it to the extent it should be done, as well as missing days entirely. 

I’ve stopped walking at lunch, even before the snow arrived.  The main reason was sweat.  The more I walked, the more I wanted to walk.  That is great in theory.  The downside to this is; it is a break at work, and the first place I sweat is my head.  My hair was beginning to look pretty slick in the afternoons.  Yuck.  The doctor gave me an idea though.  Nearing the end of the day, go up and down the flight of stairs in our building a few times.  It is only a few minutes of workout, but it is more calories burned than walking, and it is at the end of the day, so I wouldn’t need to worry as much about the sweat in my hair.  So I’m hoping to get that into action, maybe even today.  I say this as I snack on Kellogg’s Krave cereal, with 0 nutritional value, other than “fortified vitamins” I’m sure, as an after lunch snack.  It is a good think I only have a measured portion of this, as this cereal is a very moreish item.  If left unchecked I’m sure I would eat the entire box.  Alas, I think we will buy these anymore once the box is done. 

 

On the hopefully up side of our diet, we have purchased a book; A Year Full of Recipes.   So far this is inspiring us to cook from scratch, thus having less processed foods.  With some modifications to reduce oil used and various spices we don’t care for, these recipes have been a hit, and most meals being between 300-500 calories with sides on the recipe.  My wife has been doing the cooking so far, which is a lovely thing for her to do.  They are very filling dinners that are fairly nutritionally balanced, without overdoing it on the calories.  Yes they have some deserts, and we will probably make them, but the idea is only have deserts once/twice a week, instead of every day, which is a routine we have fallen into, even if they are small desserts.

 

I hope this meeting with the doctor is enough to help get me started again, be more focused on losing weight, while I have the time, before I try to get pregnant.  In the past year, since we bought the Wii Fit, I have lost about 12 pounds.  That is one pound a month.  This is not a large progress, but it is solid progress in my eyes.  We’ve made small changes here and there, but seem to lack the combination of using the small changes together to make a larger difference.  Hopefully over the next year we can work on that.  The one thing is though, we have been at this a year.  We haven’t been 100% goal oriented, but have majority kept going, kept plugging away.  I think this is the longest period of time where weight management has been at least remotely on my mind.  Some things have taken the focus off, Deb quitting smoking, going on a vacation, clearing a hoarder house, and a cruise full of buffets, but we have kept going and kept most of the weight loss off, so now is a time to start going down again. 

Everything in life has peaks and valleys, but at least life isn’t flat and boring.  

Sorry for the long winded post, just a lot to say today I guess.

#152 Internal Medicine Appointment (11/05/12)

When I got this phone call, I was very blatant with “Are you kidding me?”  As discussed on my last post, my appointment with the anesthesiologist was quicker than planned, good to go etc.  Well I get another call this morning from the Pre-Admission clinic.  I need to have another appointment eerily similar to last Thursday, ie bring medications, talk with the doctor, have blood pressure done.  This time, instead of an anesthesiologist, it is with an Internal Medic.  Once again the appointment wait time could be from 2-3 hours.  They say I get a physical, but really, couldn’t they have done that at the last appointment.  This is an example of creating jobs.  It used to be, “oh you’re going for surgery, show up at the hospital an hour early, you then talk to any of the staff required, and they look you over, then wheel you in for surgery.  I even had a second person call from the clinic to make sure I was coming to the appointment, and clarify that the reason I need to see IM is because of my asthma.  I reassured her that my asthma is under control.  She says it is standard procedure. 

The drive to the hospital is a good 30-60 depending on traffic, each direction, plus hospital parking upwards of $10-20 or so.  Plus the wait time at the hospital.  (Last time I got lucky getting in and out in less than 45 minutes, I don’t expect to be that lucky again.) Last time I got a ride to the hospital with my MIL, so I could avoid parking, but I don’t want to inconvenience her again. 

On the last appointment my blood pressure was a little high, after these two phone calls, it is through the roof.  When my fertility doctor, who is doing the surgery, asked if I wanted a consult with the anesthesiologist, I thought a phone call at most.  If I would have known this rigmarole, I would have said “No thank you, I’ve been under various anesthetic before and had no issues, I will be fine.”  That would have saved a lot of hassle. 

So, this Thursday, I need to get up at an ungodly hour to go through rush hour traffic to a hospital at the other end of the city, to sit and probably wait. ARG.  In my opinion, I don’t need a second opinion from a different doctor, I really didn’t need the first.  

#151 Anesthesiologist Appointment (11/02/12)

Well, as part of my TTC journey, I had my anesthesiologist appointment yesterday.  When the nurse was making the appointment with me she warned me to bring water, snacks, and something to read, the appointments would take at least 2-3 hours.  Being I didn’t want to pay for outrageous hospital parking I had arranged to have my MIL to drop me off and pick me up when I was done.  I had also booked the afternoon off work.  My baggage carrying into this appointment was fairly large, I had a big bag of all my medications, and vitamins, with a bottle of water.  Then I had my large purse with a variety of snacks stuffed into it.  Then I had the big book “What to Expect When Your Expecting” by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel.  (On a side note, I have been told it is not a kind book to people who are overweight, so I’m trying to take any negativity with a grain of salt, and doing a slight skim read instead of reading word for word.  So far it has been worth the read.) and of course a travel coffee mug.  When a hospital says the appointment is going to be 2-3 hours I was ready for longer. 

The appointment was to consist of and EKG, nurse consult, anesthesiologist consult and chest x-ray.  The estimated time waiting was I think because you are forever waiting for the appointment to start on time, then the next person, move to next area and wait, and repeat. 

This is how the appointment ended up going.  Traffic was good, so I was about 15 minutes early.  When I went up to the admissions desk, they thought I was someone else, which had been late.  Because the earlier appointment was late or a no-show, and I was early they put me in that slot.  So I was escorted into the exam room right away by the nurse consultant.  I got my bags put down, and the EKG technician came in right away to do that first.  That was very quick, and unofficially looked good, yay.  The nurse stayed in the room, so once I was done the EKG I sat with her, went over my medications and medical history.  She also took my blood pressure, which was a little high, but we were talking about babies and TTC, so I chalk it up to that, but I think my blood pressure might be something to keep an eye on.  Not good.  Once the consultation was done with her she left the room saying the doctor would be in soon, which I took as I would be waiting for a while.  I read less than two pages in the book and the doctor came in.  We went over my anesthetic options for surgery; she asked a few health questions; then instructed me to go back to the front desk to get my x-ray form and go over to the emergency wing of the hospital to get to imaging diagnostics.  So I did just that. 

Once at the diagnostics area, I handed the form to the front desk, which she then instructed me to have a seat in the waiting room.  I was the only person there.  About a minute later I get called by the x-ray technician to get changed into a very fashionable hospital gown.  Once I was changed I went right in, had two x-rays, and left.  The whole series of events took a little less than 45 minutes.  The down side, I had to go back to work, the up side, I have no red flags for surgery in two weeks.  Yay.