#102 Catch up (08/08/12)

Well, the crohns testing showed I do have an area that is inflamed, but wouldn’t tell me much more than that.  Hopefully I hear for a follow up soon.  If not I will call next week. 

Today my wife and I had our follow up with the fertility clinic.  We are both fertile, ovulating and having enough follicles, I have 15.  Our sperm choice has been narrowed though, as even though I am CMV positive which means I can choice either donor, my wife is negative, so if we want to use the same donor for each pregnancy, then we need to choose a donor that is also negative for CMV.  (Or infect my wife to make her positive before pregnancy, not an ideal option.)

The down side to the follow appointment was the next appointment I need, to look closer to my polyp.  When I originally saw it on the HSG it looked small, but I wasn’t looking at what the doctor was seeing.  In fact it is about 1 cm in diameter; I got to see the full picture today.  My doctor assured me that isn’t too big, but in the relative size to my uterus, I think it is.  So, early in my next cycle I go for an SHG (sonohysterogram).  It is similar to the HSG except with a saline solution instead of dye.  This will allow a clearer look at the polyp to determine whether it needs to come out or not.  My guess is yes it needs to come out.

I’ve said my body is a hoarder, but I didn’t realize it was also collecting polyps (I’ve had some removed from my colon).  My body needs to go through a de-clutter stage of getting rid of fat, water weight, and polyps. 

Weight wise, it isn’t going well.  It seems I reached the 10 pound mark and then lost a couple, gained them back, lost them again, but now they are back.  It seems these are the boomerang pounds that need to be broken of their habit of coming back.  Well, more of I need to get back into the habit of eating within calorie allowances truly, and then more exercise.  Bring back the good habits I was cultivating before the clearing of the house next door.

#33 My body is trying to tell me something...Is it a Hoarder? (04/24/12)

Overall I feel a LOT better.  I can feel the skinny me wanting to get out.  I have been eating super healthy for a little over a month now.  The scale however is not cooperating.  I lost the first 2-3 pounds right away.  But things haven’t been moving for one reason or another.  Every week I can say this or that.  Are they just excuses though?  First was recovery from Easter, even though I ate way better than I ever would have.  Now am I just retaining water, the monthly bloat? 

I can feel my body wanting to drop the extra pounds, my body feels cleaner from the inside, yet something is stopping those pounds from leaving these tired bones.  Is my body having sentimental attachment to these pounds?  They have been around for a long time, so maybe my body isn’t quite ready to let them go.  Do I need to have an intervention with my body to say, it is ok to let go; to never see these pounds again. Any small diet attempt in the past, if I lost weight, it was like my body knew those pounds would be coming back soon enough, so my body never had to say GOODBYE.  But this time my body knows I am making the change.  Therefore, maybe it is having its own tantrum and holding onto them like an old broken toy.  Has my body been collecting these pounds like a hoarder?  It doesn’t realize how much better its life will be once it says goodbye to them once and for all.  My body has been collecting these pounds for a lifetime; they have been making life increasingly difficult.  My body needs to learn to let them go. 

I can hope, like a hoarder, once my body starts to let them go and say goodbye, they will just start to drop off quickly, as my body realizes it is better without them.