#149 BFP... (10/22/12)

For a friend of mine.  She has been trying for one complete cycle, a little on the previous, but not consistent.  She is a fertile bunny.  On her first pregnancy, she had it timed to the day she would try her first pregnancy test (on father’s day) to get a possible BFP, months in advance.  She allowed timing to come off BC, then clear her system, wait the couple months, cycle and bam, pregnant.  She pretty much did the same this time again.  I hope I’m that fertile.  She has a slight advantage though; live sperm on demand.  That I suppose is one of the advantages to being straight. 

The other day I had a dream that my wife and I were trying to steal sperm, kind of like on The L Word where Bette and Tina try and get into a threesome.  Alas, any time in my dream I tried to kiss the man, it was like I was kissing poison, needless to say it was an epic fail, even in my dream, to get pregnant.  Let’s hope the clinical way works better in reality. 

#146 Dreams (10/16/12)

It’s funny how people can affect you long after they have left your lives.   Last night I had a dream about my ex husband, in case you haven’t read earlier posts, in short form he was a Paranoid Schizophrenic Alcoholic Drug Addict (mostly pot, but near the end was into coke and crack).  If you notice the past tense of that sentence, he is a was; died of a heart attack a few years ago.  The dream is rattling me more that it should.  It is just one of those dreams that seem to stick with me. 

I don’t remember many of my dreams, when I do; they are usually pretty weird, nothing bone rattling like this one is trying to be.  He is dead; I need to let it go.  My Ex Mother in Law is dead also, and I have NO contact with the Ex Father in Law, and the Ex Sister in Law is still in jail awaiting trial, and thus have no contact and never plan to.  I googled her today and found she finally has a trial date for late 2013.  (She deserves to be there, for a murder of her ex, and I hope she stays there for a lot more years.)  I am very happy to be rid of any contact with that family, slightly sad about EX MIL, but it is what it is.  So why is this dream sticking with such a bad feeling?